+1 (818) 404-9248 harris@harriskern.com

Re-Direct Negative Emotions

Discipline Mentor

Dealing with emotional conflict is probably one of the hardest challenges you will face. It is extremely difficult to remain focused when you are dealing with these negative setbacks. They are the biggest time wasters of all.  

The only way to combat negative emotions effectively is to train your mind to do so automatically. Once your mind has been trained and you have acquired the ultimate level of discipline you will put up a barrier to protect you from those negative feelings. Those feelings of depression are not going to keep you down for very long. 

I used some hardcore phrases to train my mind to combat negative emotions. These phrases were used to re-direct those negative emotions into a powerful force of positive energy. This energy allowed me to focus on my priorities and daily milestones. 

The issues below have occurred to me and have probably happened to many of you as well. Some of the phrases I used may work for you or you may want to come up with your own. You need to find the phrases that will impact you the most – if they’re not on the following lists then come up with your own. 

** Please note that some of the phrases I used to re-direct my negative emotions were very hardcore (mean and nasty). These phrases were used to move the negativity aside and thrust me forward to focus solely on my goals. This was an internal struggle only. The more hardcore these phrases were the less time I spent thinking about the negativity and the more I spent on being positive, energetic and productive again. 

Phrases to Help Re-Direct Negative Emotions 

Example #1: I had a very difficult breakup in my late twenties. It was someone who I loved very much. When we separated, I was distraught. I lost focus, energy and motivation. Within a few hours, I was back to normal again because of a few very nasty phrases I said to myself repeatedly: she’s a losershe’s a piece of …. She’s probably with some other guy right nowshe’s not worth it…etc. In other words, I trashed her in my mind. Did I really feel that way? No way. However, my trained mind made me believe she was a bad person – that’s all it took! The objective is not to look back and dwell on the past. It’s over, put things behind you and focus on the future. Life must go on – the sooner the better. 

Example #2: I had a close friend (at least I thought I did) who I treated like a brother. I provided him with continuous support (personal advice 24X7, business support and financial help – pretty much upon request). My friend had a lot of great qualities but managing his finances effectively wasn’t one of them. To make a very long story shorter I lent him over $100,000.00 during a period of 10 years. A promissory note was written and signed by both parties each time I lent him additional funds. In the end, the promissory notes were worthless. He never paid back a dollar – he defaulted on the loans.  
 

A lawsuit ensued and judgment was awarded to me – yet it’s been over 5 years and I have not seen a dime of it. I was very upset and hurt – I couldn’t believe that someone who I treated better than my own brother would burn me in this manner.  

My trained mind re-directed my negative emotions into my priorities by having me believe that he was a loser – it got me back on track quickly. I used phrases like: he is nothing but a piece of s…, he’s a loser, etc…. Did I really feel this way about my close friend so quickly – of course not! I blamed myself too because I knew about his financial management shortcomings. Regardless of how you feel use key phrases that will get you angry enough to re-direct those negative emotions into powerful positive energy. The key is to get back on track quickly.  

I am happy to report that after several years of not speaking to my old friend he reached out to me and began making amends – he sends me a percentage of his income every month. I forgave him – after all we are all human and we all make mistakes. Our friendship continues to flourish. 

Harris Kern

After 30 years as an IT executive, Haris Kern consulted major corporations including Standard and Poor’s, GE, and The Weather Channel. His life coaching experience spans decades mentoring various clients from college students to high-level executives, even individuals with long-term disabilities like ADHD. Harris is also the author of over 40 books including Live Like You are Dying and Going from Undisciplined to Self Mastery.

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