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Performance warrants top billing. If management sees you as a high-performer they will typically reward you. Bonuses aren’t guaranteed, but if your company does handout yearly bonuses your odds are greatly improved. Effective workload management combined with a focus on perception, being cautious and proactive with the political landscape improves your odds even further. Below are some tips to help you become a top performer:

Continuously strategize

To complete your job responsibilities more efficiently—be resourceful and creative (think outside of the box for better solutions).

Prioritize your workload

Focus on the most important tasks/projects first.

Maintain structure

Be organized and follow a to-do list.

Work with urgency

To complete your tasks and goals on schedule or better yet ahead of schedule.

Be goal-oriented

Every company sets goals and does whatever is necessary to achieve those goals. It’s important that you establish goals based on your job function, which are closely aligned with company goals—manage them to fruition.

A word of caution: Don’t over promise and under deliver. Be careful not to mouth off and promise the world and not deliver. The value of action speaks volumes over measly words applies here big time.

2. Showcase initiative

Employers are looking for individuals who can bring fresh ideas to the table and take initiative to start new projects without being directed to do so, pitch new solutions and create new opportunities for the business. It’s going above and beyond your normal job responsibilities. It’s also volunteering to help out in other areas. Work hard, work smart, volunteer for new projects, come up with new more efficient processes, go out of your way to help others.

Come to work early, apply yourself and don’t watch the clock to leave exactly at quitting time. If you really want to excel in your career don’t be labeled a 9-5 person. Also, don’t make personal calls at work, text aimlessly or utilize your social media apps.

3. Play the political game to survive and thrive

I hate the politics in D.C. and I hated playing the political game at work even more. With D.C. politics I could pretty much ignore it, but if you don’t play the game at work you will not excel in your career, in many instances, could lose your job. Politics run ramped in every company (small, medium and large). Below are a few tips on how to play the dreaded game:

Acquaint yourself with the organization chart

It’s important to know who the key influencers and power players are. Who are the brains in the organization? Who are the most respected? Who are the real decision-makers? Also, who to be leery of…

Assess relationships

Be observant to see who the movers and shakers are interacting with—perhaps in a formal group or informal setting. Are there any social networks you need to get involved with? Ascertain if relationships are based on respect, friendship, romance or something else. If at all possible, determine how influence emanates among the different groups. Be cognizant of friction or interpersonal conflicts.

Develop your EQ skills

It’s crucial to communicate effectively with your colleagues and executives also, to manage your emotions.

Be professional at all times

There’s a time and place for fooling around, and it’s not the workplace. Acting stupid (i.e., yelling at someone, throwing a tantrum or bad-mouthing someone) doesn’t do anyone any good, especially you. You don’t want to be labeled as a hothead. Also, don’t complain about your workload, no one cares. No matter how good a worker you may be, getting caught in the web of gossip will quickly downgrade your standing with your boss and employer.

Begin building your brand/profile

In other words, are you someone who gets the job done? Are you trustworthy? It’s important to showcase your honesty, integrity and accountability.

Don’t toot your own horn

Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.

Begin building your network

Start making connections outside of your own team (i.e., co-workers, managers and executives). Be friendly towards everyone, however only align yourself with the key players and organizations.

Be positive and friendly

There are going to be plenty of individuals that practice negative politics. Don’t shy away from them but don’t go down to their level either. The old adage “keep your friends close and your enemies closer applies here. Be guarded but courteous and respectful. Get to know them and their goals. Just be careful what you say around them as they may take your words and pass them along with a negative spin. Although many of these individuals are insecure and are self-destructive, they are clever and dangerous.

Choose your words carefully

You don’t want to reveal secrets that will be misconstrued. If you want to voice some concerns be confident but never be aggressive. Also, never bad mouth anyone.

To survive and thrive in the business world you need to be shrewd, observant, and have the gift of gab, just like politicians. Having to embrace the political landscape of any company seems like such a complete waste of time, but to be successful you either play the game and do it well or simply move aside so you won’t get trampled by those who are in the game to win. It’s that simple!

4. The right perception speaks volumes

If you typically work 40-50-hour weeks make it appear to upper management that you’re working 60-70-hour weeks when in reality you’re not. In small, medium or large businesses portraying the right perception is a key success factor to excel in your career. Don’t think of it as being deceitful. Consider it more like battlefield tactics to out-maneuver or outsmart the enemy. The following are some tactics:

Let’s say it’s Wednesday and your project is due the following Monday. You should do as much as possible during the workweek and even if you finish the project on Friday afternoon you shouldn’t email the deliverable just yet—wait until the weekend. Every manager looks at the time stamp on emails that come in during off-hours. Work-related emails you send during these off-hours will draw management’s attention.

It’s also a good idea for you to work a few extra hours to catch up in a quiet environment. Early Saturday morning, perhaps before your family or significant other wakes up is ideal. You should send an email to management and his team throughout the weekend—if applicable.

The same advice goes for status emails. You should complete them and place each one in your Draft email folder—then click send in the evening. It appears that you’re working around the clock, but in reality, you’re not. If you use Outlook you can also schedule the email to be sent automatically.

When interacting with management about a certain project that has been assigned to you with unrealistic demands: As much as you may want to, you should never say no—you should tell management that you will work on it over the weekend and send the deliverable before Monday. You should remind management (subtly) that your current responsibilities will fill up the work-week and you don’t want to drop the ball on anything. You shouldn’t make it look like you’re complaining. It’s just a gentle reminder that your plate is full and you will get to this very important project over the weekend when it’s easier to complete the work without interruption. You should work on the project and complete as much as possible during the week, as time permits, but not tell your boss and click send sometime over the weekend.

Management will typically recognize you as a company person. They will think that you’re working day and night and you’re doing whatever it takes to get the job done. Following this simple piece of advice will help your career immensely. Congratulations, you just won a strategic battle.

5. Be one step ahead of your boss

You should never wait for your boss to tell you what to do next. Always anticipate management’s needs. Put yourself in their shoes and ask questions like what would they do next to make improvements in the organization? How do we make things more efficient? Which processes or procedures do we need to implement, which will streamline our workflow? Be proactive (I.e., observe, listen and recommend solutions).

6. Earn the trust of management

Every executive has their own method of managing the organization (i.e., hands-on, hands-off, etc.). Do you fit into their management style? You don’t have to be best friends with your boss, but you should establish and nurture a solid relationship. Know the way they think and understand their expectations (likes, dislikes, status reporting, deliverables, etc.). The better you get to know your boss the more successful you will be. If you gain the trust of your boss you will be in good standing. You will probably get better projects, better raises, and more opportunities for promotions.

7. Know your employer

Learn your company’s products, services, mission, vision, strategies, goals. The more you know about your company mission, vision and goals the better you can align your work-related goals. Knowing your employer will help you better understand your role and the value you provide to their success.

8. Ask your boss for constructive criticism

In a future one-on-one meeting ask them to be brutally honest and ask what they think of your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t wait for your annual performance review. In most instances’ management will be happy to provide this feedback.

9. Don’t go to management with problems—come with solutions

Good employees go to management with solutions not problems. Be a problem-solver not someone who just points out problems. If you don’t have the authority to provide the final verdict on a problem, then make sure you offer a few solid options to management and try to help as much as you can.

10. Increase your knowledge base

You should never stop learning new skills. If you do the same thing over and over without learning new skills you will get bored. Whenever your employer offers training courses or other forms of education, jump on the opportunity.

11. Be a team player

At least make it appear that way—especially to management. Below are a few pointers on how to be a good team player:

Be an active participant

When interacting with individuals and organizations, be an active participant on projects and be sure to say the we word repeatedly. Never use I. Volunteer for assignments outside of your department and come prepared to team meetings and listen and speak up.

Be receptive to other people’s ideas

Listen and be open-minded to other people’s ideas. Solicit feedback on your ideas.

Be reliable

Always meet your deadlines to earn the trust of your co-workers. Keep your word and deliver quality work. You’re counted on to consistently deliver.

Adapt easily, quickly, and be flexible

To changing situations. Also, never display stress or complain. Take things in stride as things will not always go according to plan.

Be a problem solver

Great team players are problem solvers. They collaborate with others to find solutions. Sharing information and knowledge is a key component to being a great team player.

Communicates effectively

Communicates confidentially and frequently with other team members in a respectful manner is common practice. They’re not afraid to speak up but do it in a positive, confident, and respectful manner.

Promote team goals

The focus is on team goals versus individual goals.

Be humble

Point out the contributions of others and don’t seek attention for your accomplishments.

12. The first thirty days

As a new employee, you’re on management’s radar. The first thirty days in a new job are crucial for overcoming any skepticism that’s institutionalized in most companies for all new hires. This is why it’s important to minimize any uncertainty as quickly as possible and have a positive impact on the organization immediately. Be resourceful and do whatever it takes to learn your job quickly and get it done in a quality manner. Most companies are not going to give you a long time to learn your job and you probably won’t have someone shadowing you for a few weeks. If you’re lucky you may get a few days of classroom training, a few manuals to review with very little on-the-job training time.

Establish the appropriate perception immediately—like the first day, by staying past the time you’re supposed to get off and always get in early, preferably prior to management arriving on day two. Come in as early as possible even if you don’t get paid for it. You will be rewarded later. You need to show management that you’re a company person from the get-go. Below are some tips to ensure a great first impression:

Join co-workers for lunch or coffee

Even if you don’t have the time—you should do it. You need to get acclimated to the team as quickly as possible.

Ask questions

You need to ask your co-workers for advice on the dos and don’ts for your first 30 days. Also, about dress code, how meetings are conducted and who are the key players.

Take plenty of notes

More importantly, make sure people are seeing you take notes, but don’t take notes on your phone during this period.

Be extra diligent not to make a mistake but, if you do, you need to admit it immediately

Let management know and also tell them what you will do differently next time.

Don’t make waves

It’s better to keep quiet during the first few weeks—listen and learn.

Adapt to the corporate culture and adhere to departmental values

Fit in quickly. Ask questions and observe.

Make it a point to meet with management regularly

Especially in the first week, but you need to come prepared with an agenda. Discuss training progress, your 30-day plan, status reporting and management’s expectations.

Change email settings to engage spell-check and a one-minute send delay

Email is a great productivity tool, but it could also be your worst nightmare. If you’re not sure how to articulate an important message—you need to draft something, save it and check it the next morning when you’re not brain tired, before sending.

Don’t step on anyone’s toes

You may find things in the department that could be performed more efficiently, if that’s the case, you need to approach management and start each sentence in this manner:

“This procedure works well, but I was wondering if you’ve already tried to do…”

“I am sure this has been tried before, but I was thinking, what if. . .”

“You guys have been doing this a lot longer than me, but here is a thought. . .”

13. Nurture relationships

The more people you know the better especially with key decision-makers or folks who are influential. If you don’t proactively manage professional relationships, your success in business will be limited. Typically, nurturing key business relationships is taken for granted and put on the back burner which is a huge mistake. Promotions and bonuses are not only based on performance but, sadly, on who you know. You need to pick and choose relationships with key executives who can contribute to enhancing your career. You need to schmooze those key stakeholders. Those executives can help catapult your career.

I’ve known many individuals who struggled in their management career because they failed to schmooze with the appropriate people. As many stated, “I’m not about to kiss anyone’s butt.” I replied: “Schmoozing was not about kissing someone’s butt. In fact, the definition of schmooze is to: converse informally, to chat, or to chat in a friendly and persuasive manner especially so as to gain favor, business or connections.”

That’s a lot to digest but making the most out of your career is crucial. Utilize these career-related tips and you can put yourself on the path to greatness and achieve your ultimate career goals. If you feel like you’re in a dead-end job, but there are opportunities all around you in the same company the thirteen tips above will help you change your current situation.

More than half of my clients are looking for a second or third source of income, but they can’t put their current job on hold to pursue other interests. Very few have the luxury of quitting their job outright to perhaps start their own business. Unfortunately, there are no magic potions. It will take hard work (working nights and weekends), resourcefulness, creativity and most of all the discipline to ensure accountability, urgency and tenacity to achieve success. You will also need a product or a service that is unique, valued and cost-effective. So, don’t quit your day job just yet, at least until your side business is fully established and profitable.

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Speaking truthfully is always the best policy

2. Be respectful

Respect individuals and their space. Treat others as you would expect someone to treat

you and don’t try to force your opinion down their throat. Also, don’t criticize or judge

their point of view.

3. Listen—don’t do all the talking

Effectively communicating means listening to the other person intently. When you listen to someone it shows that you respect their discussion points. It may not work out to a 50/50 mix, but a 60/40 mix will go a long way to having a successful outcome. Never do all the talking. If it’s all one-sided you may not get the outcome you desire.

4. Be real

If you portray phony mannerisms your counterpart will turn the discussion off in a heartbeat. Individuals who display an authentic demeanor will be effective communicators.

5. Be mindful of your voice

It’s not just what you say, but also how you say it that matters. The sound of your voice can change the perceived meaning of a message. Ensuring your voice matches the meaning of the message is important. For instance, relaying negative information with a cheerful voice can be rude and offensive. At the same time, being mindful of your voice is important to help prevent underlying messages from coming through that should be kept private. For instance, if you are assigned to tell someone they are being promoted but personally feel they are bad for the job, you will need to be mindful of your voice to ensure your annoyance is not conveyed. A person’s voice is made of the following components: articulation, pronunciation, tone, pitch, and projection. Each of these components requires practice for success. The following are a few quick ways to improve your voice:

Speak clearly

Don’t mumble or speak too quickly—articulate and pronounce your words carefully to ensure your counterpart can understand your message.

Don’t be monotone

Use the pitch, volume, projection and even inflection of your voice to emphasize words as needed and keep a listener engaged. The size of the room, the number of people being spoken to, and even the length of your message are some factors to consider when determining how to use these aspects appropriately.

Always pay attention to the tone of your voice

Don’t come off as unapproachable. Be passionate, upbeat and enthusiastic when appropriate.

6. Watch your body language

Practice in front of a mirror and watch your facial expressions, body stance, eye contact, and posture. Keep in mind culturally appropriate maintenance of space and touch as well. Along with what you say and how you say it, what you don’t say can be even more important. In fact, research shows 55% of communication is made of non-verbal cues and is important as it conveys what a person is feeling. For example, a person yawning is often interpreted as boredom.

7. Be aware of your emotions—stay neutral

Don’t let your emotions obstruct your message as negative emotions will create barriers. If you seem down, impatient, have emotional outbursts or promote negativity you will always lose your audience. You know when you’re having a good day, a so/so day, or a bad day. Therefore, before initiating an important conversation make sure to leave any negativity at home. Think of the positives in your life to help re-direct your focus. If this isn’t possible, then it’s best to re-schedule the encounter. If rescheduling isn’t an option and being positive is coming off as fake, get through the encounter by maintaining a neutral demeanor. A neutral demeanor means not getting too excited or displaying negativity in your voice. Neutrality along with being mindful of your voice and body language will help you get your message across appropriately.

8. Do not beat around the bush

For general conversations get to the point quickly without ever being rude. It’s important not to waste anyone’s time. For highly sensitive and especially unfavorable conversations you may need to sugar-coat your words a bit. However, being sensitive to the others person’s feelings does not require you to be long-winded; you can still deliver the message in a timely fashion.

9. Be polite

Say please and thank you throughout your conversation at appropriate times.

10. Be complimentary

Giving compliments works wonders as many individuals don’t recognize their strengths. When deserved, being nice and giving praise is very important to have a meaningful discussion.

11. Don’t pry and don’t get too personal

Self-explanatory.

12. Facilitate private discussions in person (if applicable)

Never email or text important discussions. If possible, discuss highly sensitive issues in person even if this delays the conversation. It’s important to view someone’s facial expressions to be able to adjust the conversation as needed. If meeting in person is out of the question, say you live in a different city, then a phone call is the next best thing.

13. Know your audience

Who is the person or audience you will be speaking to? Learning important “general” cultural, religious, or even local information before the meeting will help you better prepare. For example, knowing the city’s favorite sports teams or popular food items will help you better engage your audience. While learning about their culture will help you avoid behaviors that may be discouraged. If acquiring this information before the encounter is not possible, try to arrive early and speak to the early arrivers or even open the conversation with some general questions: “What do you do for a living? What are your goals and hobbies?” Be genuine when asking these types of questions and be sincerely interested in their answers. Although no two people are alike, look for unities between you and him/her. If there are some commonalities build on them.

14. Electronic communications

In addition to the tips above, always respond to text messages and emails. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people do not respond. Give the other person the respect of a response, practicing cordiality and accuracy. They took the time to email you, what makes you too important to respond!

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Think about all the people you know that question their partners about every little detail of the day. Trust is vital for any relationship to become strong and everlasting.

2. Honesty IS the best policy 

Even white lies eventually turn into big lies that forever need to be covered up. Lies are like a poisonous gas that will silently kill any relationship. Never lie!

3. Spend quality time together 

Small acts can go a long way. Use dinner time to have meaningful discussions with the TV and both phones turned off. Afterwards, take a nightly walk together then relax and watch something on Netflix. Also, don’t forget to schedule that occasional date night.

4. Continue to be best friends

You started out as friends and you should continue to cultivate your friendship. Take the time to discuss the good and the bad that each day brings your way. The more you communicate, the closer friends you become.

5. Communication is crucial 

Communication is a vital success factor in any relationship. How else are you supposed to know what your partner is thinking or what is going on in their lives? Couples in successful relationships consistently express their love for each other, complement one another frequently, and never avoid discussing difficult issues.

6. It takes work—set goals

Establish personal and companionship goals. Whether it’s financial or a special romantic vacation—see those goals through to fruition and then celebrate together. Achieving a couple’s goal is a key success factor and an excellent bonding experience.

7. It takes two to Tango

Look for common ground during arguments. It doesn’t matter who is to blame. You have too many other things to worry about. Not every couple is going to agree on everything.

8. Never go to sleep during a heated argument

Make every possible effort to resolve the disagreement before going to sleep or at the very least, never go to bed angry with each other.

9. Don’t cause a disturbance 

Yelling, throwing, hitting objects or storming out of a room and slamming a door will only exacerbate a negative situation. Don’t make a scene. Find ways to release tension and calm down (i.e., exercise, walk around the block or simply let some time elapse) then gently discuss the issue.

10. Don’t dwell on negative scenarios from the past  

Raising issues from the past will only cause friction and make the current situation worse. Don’t go there. You don’t need to rehash the past, deal with the present. 

11. Choose your words carefully—Respect your partner at all times 

Just like choosing words carefully in the workplace there is no difference here—be politically astute! Don’t mock or belittle. Be kind, soft-spoken, well-mannered, don’t talk negatively to friends and family about your relationship and never threaten to leave. Treat your partner as you wish to be treated.

12. Forgiveness is essential 

Forgive your partner’s harsh or offensive words every now and then. As long as this does not happen daily or even weekly, find it in your heart to forgive your partner.

13. Really listen to your partner 

Don’t interrupt, even if it’s a heated discussion. Give your partner your full attention and really try to understand your partner’s perspective. There is nothing more annoying than talking to someone’s back.

14. Don’t just blurt out a problem—provide a solution first 

For example, don’t just blame your partner for not cooking. Rather, schedule a time for the both of you to cook together.

15. Manage yourself, not your partner

Worry about yourself and be the best you can be. The more efficient you become, the more productive you will be, leaving you with more time for one another.

16. Sex…

It’s important to maintain your sex life and keep it interesting, spontaneous and unpredictable. Don’t just do it for the sake of doing it.

17. Display appreciation—honor your partner with love every day

It does not take much effort—do things you know your partner enjoys. Whether it’s romantic words, flowers, love notes, cards, quality time, acts of kindness, or physical touch, “show” your special someone you love them.

18. Don’t compare your life to others

We tend to compare our relationships to those of others. This is made easier than ever with social media. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Focus on your relationship!

19. Maintain your own identity

Everyone knows spending quality time together is important, but spending time apart is important too. Keep your own interests and continuously develop yourself.

20. Bring your partner into your world

Make every attempt to summarize your responsibilities/tasks to your partner. For example, if you’re managing the finances for the household, always update your partner. Create a formal spreadsheet that you can review together at least monthly.

To reiterate a very important message: after you’ve established a strong relationship, always proactively manage it. Just because things are going well today doesn’t mean they will remain that way. Things can change suddenly and could cost you dearly if you are not prepared.

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1. Stay focused

Stay focused on the present; face what is being said and what is being done without wondering about the past. How do you apply this daily? By focusing your mind on your to-do list which includes obligations in your personal and professional realm, you are left with very little time for anger or worry about something or someone else. Each time an incident arises that can derail your emotions, remind yourself of that to-do list and the need to stay on track to avoid wasting time.

2. Meditate

When you notice your emotions are taking over, become aware of your breathing. Focus on your breath as it enters and exits the body at a focal point (i.e. nasal passage or stomach), then when your mind does wander gently bring it back to your breath. Start with as little time as you like and slowly increase the amount of time in focus. Meditation, like lifting weights to build muscle, helps build the mental strength you need to stay focused.

3. Go for a walk and be mindful of your surroundings

If possible, taking a walk or break in nature is a great way to relax the mind. Try to really focus on the natural details of your environment.

4. Become aware of your body

Utilize body scans, a mindfulness tool that helps you listen to your body and notice physical sensations to obtain insight into how you are feeling. For instance, tension in your shoulders or jaws while driving to a friend’s house may be a sign that this relationship needs attention.

5. Feeling down—turn on the lights

Research has shown light is directly linked to mood and learning. So, if need be, turn on a brighter light in your area or open the shades and let the sunshine in.

6. Expect that life will present you with challenges—avoid being surprised

Life is meant to spike up and down, similar to a cardiac EKG monitor. When the lines move up and down you are alive. If life were a straight path this would be shown on an EKG monitor as a flat line, which correlates with death.

7. Mr. Kern’s favorite—exercise

Getting blood pumping through your body and especially to your brain is not only good for your health but also your focus.

8. Try journaling your feelings and thoughts daily

Purging thoughts from your mind onto paper gives you the mental clarity you need to focus on your priorities. In addition to journaling your feelings, the following three journal ideas help you anticipate difficult situations, stay positive and track your growth:

Describe a situation that would be difficult for you and think of various ways you could respond to it—goofy, silly, mean or super nice. The idea is to have several options for responding to a variety of difficult situations.

Morning gratitude list—jot down three quick items you are thankful for. This type of journal helps redirect your mind to keep you focused on the positives in your life.

Daily Good decision Log—think back through your day and log at least three good decisions you made that you are proud of. This type of journal provides positive reinforcement and highlights the changes you are making.

9. Read fiction books

There is evidence to support that reading fiction books can help increase your ability to empathize. A 2016 review titled “Fiction: Simulation of Social Worlds,” explores the idea that fiction allows us to transport ourselves into the lives of other people, invariably helping us better understand others, which in turn we can use to improve our ability to interact with them. https://www.cell.com/trends/cognitive-sciences/fulltext/S1364-6613(16)30070-5

10. Identify your emotional triggers

Think of a time you lost control of your emotions and deconstruct the incident to pinpoint the instigating factor. You could even keep a log of these times to help you identify your emotional triggers, or weak spots. Identifying these triggers will help you learn to react more appropriately the next time you come across one, which believe me will happen.

11. Know your strengths and weaknesses

When you are self-aware of both your strengths and weaknesses, you will have realistic expectations of yourself. This will allow you to know when to turn to others for assistance, saving you a lot of time and potential heartache.

12. Pause and take a deep breath before acting

Rather than allow your emotions to take the wheel, take a moment to visualize what your ideal self would do instead.

13. Understand your feelings

Often times when we lash out at people, we are actually venting frustrations from earlier in the day or even the week. Take the time to understand the root cause of your emotional outburst and remind yourself that all emotions are temporary. This too shall pass.

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1. Keep things simple

You don’t need to count calories or follow a special diet. No one has time for that! Instead, weigh yourself daily. If you consume too many calories on any given day the scale will reflect this the next day. When this occurs, just eat a little less the next day or two. It’s a simple way to manage your weight when you’re always on the go.

2. Establish phrases—play mind games

Train your mind to believe that managing your food intake is an integral part of your life. Use negative phrases or positive affirmations/techniques to train your mind.

Repeatedly tell yourself the following negative phrases:

You look pathetic, can you imagine yourself in a bathing suit.

You’re a fat slob.

You’re so out of shape, you will probably die at a young age.

Get your lazy butt off that couch and clean your home.

Utilize the following techniques for positive reactions:

Tell yourself, “Your body is strong and healthy because you choose the right foods to keep it so.”

Get a photo of a body you would like to have and look at it every day.

Practice stress techniques like yoga and meditation to stop comfort eating.

Twin up with someone who needs to get healthy and encourages you.

Remind yourself that a person’s ability to accomplish something is only limited by their own self-doubt.

3. Exercise will help curve your appetite

You already know that exercise burns calories, but did you know that after intense cardio workouts your appetite is curbed and you eat fewer calories throughout the day. There are many sources on the Internet supporting this fact. Although it’s temporary appetite suppression, some people find that exercising makes them reconsider their food choices. For instance, you might feel less inclined to chow down on pizza or hot wings after completing an afternoon run or morning step class, choosing a veggie sandwich or fruit smoothie instead.

4. Drink Water

Drinking water before meals can result in consuming less calories according to numerous studies. Your stomach will send signals to your brain that it’s not hungry. It’s zero calories, healthy and it will make you feel full. It doesn’t get any easier than that. Drinking plenty of water also boosts your metabolism.

5. Use smaller dishes and utensils

If you’re overweight and have a tendency to over-eat, use smaller dishes and utensils. If you’re constantly using large plates you will be more inclined to fill it up with food, therefore consuming more calories. If you’re using smaller plates and utensils, it will help you achieve portion control.

6. Wear form-fitting clothes

I’m not suggesting you wear pants that are too tight, but when your clothes get noticeably tighter it may stop you from having a second helping of food. Especially as it can get expensive if you must repeatedly buy nice clothes to cover your growing waistline.

7. Chew gum

If you’re hungry and don’t want to snack prior to dinner try chewing gum to suppress your appetite. It really does work. Also, remember to chew slowly as it will help you lose weight.

8. Don’t snack from a bag or container

Put a small amount on your plate versus just snacking from the bag and not knowing the amount you’re actually eating. You can divide the servings (noted on the label) into small baggies, but that’s a lot of work. Just take a small handful out of the container and put the container away.

9. Maintain a balanced diet—the five food groups

The five main food groups are dairy, fruits, grains, proteins and vegetables. They all provide vital nutrients to support normal healthy development. Choose foods that have a high content of nutrients (protein, vitamins, and minerals) compared with the number of calories, fat, and sodium content. Below are a few important tips:

Eat fruits

Like apples and berries, (especially strawberries and blueberries) which are a good source of fiber among other nutrients.

Eat more vegetables

Not only are they an excellent source of nutrients, but they’re a good way to complement your meal and help satisfy your hunger with minimal calories.

Eat lean proteins

Like low-fat yogurt and egg whites, especially in the morning, to help you feel fuller throughout the day. Aim for one ounce or thirty grams of protein per sitting, especially if you exercise daily. Also, if you exercise in the morning, you need to feed your muscles as quickly as possible post-workout.

Eat smaller portions and fewer carbohydrates

It’s all about strict maintenance of your carbohydrate intake (breads, pasta, potatoes and rice) as well as portion control (total number of calories consumed)

10. Eat slowly to reduce calorie intake

Eating slowly will help you consume fewer calories. Your food intake and appetite are controlled by hormones. After you eat, your stomach satisfies a hormone called ghrelin, which manages hunger. This hormone tells your mind that you’ve eaten, making you feel full, which helps you to stop eating. This process takes approximately twenty minutes, so slowing down when you eat gives your brain the time it needs to receive these signals. If you chow your meal down quickly, you will overeat as your brain doesn’t have enough time to receive the ‘I’m satisfied’ signal.

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Try and find common-ground topics that are not political and always start with positive information. This helps any conversation begin to develop and is important to help create a bond with the person. Bonding with someone is especially important prior to dealing with negative issues. Once the conversation is flowing and a level of comfort is established, it is easier to interject the conversation with something negative, making the negative news easier to swallow. If this doesn’t work and a diplomatic solution cannot be reached, ask to reconvene at a different time and/or venue. Do not force or demand a conclusion.

2. Think outside of the box

What does this mean? As issues arise think strategically and provide solutions—don’t just complain about things. Not being judgmental, and rather being empathetic, allows you to keep the emotions low so you can think in this manner.

3. Never raise your voice

Arguing doesn’t help anyone—avoid it at all costs. In many instances, when you’re trying to have a healthy discussion and you’re dealing with sensitive issues, often it turns into a heated conversation. Do not raise your voice or yell. Raising your voice doesn’t serve any purpose except to make a highly emotional issue worse.

4. Envision the big picture

Always envision the big picture/overall objective. What do you want to get out of this discussion? Keep the endgame insight and don’t go down to their level of negativity. Quickly adapt and change the direction of the conversation: remember sh.. happens frequently and comes at you from all directions, especially when dealing with people who have poor EQ. If you can’t manage their emotions, then adjust your overall objective keeping the endgame in mind. Unfortunately, there are those combative types who enjoy being argumentative. You need to avoid the temptation to argue. When you encounter these types, remember to start the conversation by finding common ground as explained earlier. If you do get into an argument never try to win, instead, find a cordial solution. Always try and converse versus argue.

5. Hide your arrogance

From a young age, we are trained to hide our insecurities. When focusing on developing your EQ, it is also very important to hide your arrogance. This ability will help you influence others in the right direction. So, the next time there is a disagreement, swallow your pride and check your ego at the door. Even if you feel you are right, pick and choose your battles and focus on ways to recognize others.

6. Always be diplomatic

With any conversation, you can’t always have it your way. It’s a two-way street, not a one-way highway. Within the issue at hand, look for commonalities that the two of you agree on. If there are some, build on them as this will make the difficult aspects of the issue easier to tackle. Remember, it requires give and take to reach an understanding. Be diplomatic, negotiate and never demand anything.

7. Ignore irrelevant comments

Occasionally, people will say the most upsetting things during conversations. I’ve had that happen to me on many occasions, but I let the negative comments come in one ear and quickly exit the other without hesitation or further thought. Remember your end goal and focus on it to help you ignore the flagrant comments made by others to purposefully derail the conversation. Only you will lose.

8. Improve your empathy skills

Reading the emotions of others, or empathy, is a key element in improving your EQ skills. It will help you choose your words wisely and influence a conversation in the right direction. For example, if a conversation is going down the wrong path and you’re not sure what the other person is feeling, just ask. Never be afraid to directly ask what the other person is feeling. On the flip side, also remember to empathize without getting too emotionally invested. The reason being, when emotions go up thinking goes down and you lose sight of the end goal. As with everything else in life, it’s a balancing act.

9. Put yourself in their shoes

Momentarily stop thinking about yourself and try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Determine what’s important to them and if possible, try and understand their strengths and weaknesses. The more you know about someone, the easier it will be to influence others and conjure up the appropriate message to achieve the best results. Additionally, treat others the way they would want to be treated, not the way you would like to be treated. If they feel like you truly understand them, it will go a long way in helping you achieve the overall objective.

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Don’t start this venture by thinking it’s a part-time gig or perhaps just a pastime. Set the proper mindset by believing it will be your livelihood and it will take hard work. Set goals that are measurable and realistic and just as important, how will you hold yourself accountable to ensure goal compliance? Also, don’t kid yourself…working a full-time job and establishing a business on the side will be difficult, but it is doable, however only if you can manage yourself by making efficient use of nights and weekends. The days of procrastination need to be long gone—making every minute count is your new mode of operation! 

2. Build it so they will come

Whether your new business provides services or products, ask yourself the following questions:

Who are your customers?

What are the costs associated with the services or products you are offering?

How will you market your services or products?

What will set your services or products apart from all the other establishments or professionals providing the same type of service or product?

What’s so special about your product or service offering?

These are some of the most important questions to ask yourself. The answers to these queries will be the foundation for your strategy moving forward.

3. Have a darn good portfolio

If your business provides a service, develop and showcase a bio that is unique, depicting your experience, credibility and that you are results-oriented. There are many consultants available, you need a competitive advantage to set you apart from the pack.

4. Authenticate your idea

Who doesn’t think their idea will be that ONE product that takes off? After coaching dozens of entrepreneurs, every one of them (100%) believes that their idea is unique and incredible. No wonder there are so many businesses started every year. Unfortunately, almost just as many close their doors shortly thereafter. Typically, because products have not been fully researched, undeveloped or perhaps it’s not that beneficial. Just because you think your idea is awesome, unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that it’s marketable. There is definitely a method to objectively validate your vision and idea. There are many books and articles written on how to test your prototype thoroughly before launching a full-blown product.

5. Be professional—act like a big company

Even if it’s just you! It’s crucial to project the appropriate image. Like you have it all together (i.e., your website, fulfillment, interaction with customers follow through, etc.). In this find-everything-on-the-Internet-era, there are inexpensive freelancers for programming, manufacturing and personal assistants to help you manage and grow effectively. You can use an array of outside services from the Internet so you don’t have to do it all yourself and you can utilize your limited resources to grow the business.

6. Do it by the book—keep it legal

Before pursuing your passion, look through your company’s contracts and non-disclosure agreements to see their policies. Ensure that what you are working on is totally unrelated to your company’s business model. Also, work on your own equipment and on your own time, away from the office. To be 100% sure that your idea is not in direct conflict with your company’s intellectual property, you may want to consult with an attorney.

7. Devote your resources wisely (include time to network and any extra cash on hand to invest in your business)

As noted in the thirteen tips above it takes a herculean effort to network. Whether you’re trying to climb the ladder in the corporate world or starting your own business, it’s crucial you take the time to network. Also, invest wisely: i.e., a website, social media presence (Facebook and Twitter). Use some funds on Google AdWords to start building an email list. Don’t waste your hard-earned money on office space or furniture. Work from home.

8. Stop thinking about investors (initially)

If you are selling a service, there is no need for investors at this time. If you are designing a product for (hopefully) mass production, I know the I (investor) word pops up in your mind constantly. Who wouldn’t want a couple of million dollars to quit their current job and hire some help to accelerate their product and business? However, it takes time, a long time to first design a pitch for investors, find investors, build a prototype, do marketing research, etc. Invest your time into moving your business forward rather than worrying about investors. The more mature your business is the more attractive it will look to investors in the future.

9. You’ll know when it’s time to quit that day job

Once you have a product or service that people want and you have paying customers, established the foundation (infrastructure and operations) for continuous business growth, a good marketing and sales system to generate leads and be able to close them—congratulations. Even if your income doesn’t match your 9-5 job yet but, the business is ready and the customers want what you have, it’s time to quit.

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